JustExpressing.com : Express Yourself!

AUTHOR	POST
Tensaiga [Jul 15 2010 at 11:49:07 AM]	Aww that's really cute. I can completely relate :]
Sheol [Feb 19 2009 at 10:36:37 AM]	I thought this was cute. I read it in Dear Abbey, a columnist, and I just wanted to share it: "I clearly remember my first Valentine’s Day. I was in first grade. A few days before, my mom asked how many kids were in my class, and we went to a store and bought large packages of valentines — one for every child in the class. When I arrived at school, each classmate’s desk had a small box on it. I went around the room and gave each child a valentine. There was one for the quiet one in the back, the most popular girl in class, the prettiest and even the boys. By the end of the day, everyone had a full box of valentines to take home. One desk, one box ... the love of a child. As I grew older, society taught me to narrow my offering of affection, picking only those I chose to be special or worthy. Eventually, I was taught to limit my valentines to only one person. More time went on, and then a card was not enough. To show that really special person what she meant to you, you needed to send flowers, candy and jewelry. Apparently, as we grew older it took more and more to fill those boxes. Now we absolutely could not give to more than one person. People hire detectives to make sure the person isn’t filling anyone else’s. And if you had no one to send you anything, you were saddened by your big, empty box filled only with sadness and despair. Today I am taking back from society what it has taken from me. I’m counting how many people play a role in my life, and I am buying “virtual” packages of cards. I have one for every single one of you — man or woman, young or old, straight or gay, married or single. Each card says the same thing — I appreciate who you are and what you have to contribute to each other. I invite all to do the same, so no box is empty."
Sheol [Feb 9 2009 at 09:48:13 PM]	On a side note, yeah, I'm that antisocial too and also trying to improve (kind of have to if I want to be a nurse). I was once friends with a girl for four months before I even asked for her name, and still she had to be the one to approach me every time in the beginning. I did not make my first friend until seventh grade so I'm a bit behind on social skills. lol.
Sheol [Feb 9 2009 at 09:42:05 PM]	Thank you guys so much for your kind words. It helps a lot hearing them. Beth is like a second mother to me, so that is why it is even harder this time. And with the way school and work is for me, I can't be there for her like I would like to be. Beth is the kindest person I have ever met, she reminds me of the Christian's Jesus. I know God has carved out the best part of heaven for her. I cannot even find words to describe her, but I find myself already wishing I could have done more for her. If I ever do find it in me to have another friend in person, it will be years after having to watch her suffer this long before dying. Have you ever been so upset that you cannot cry? That you find yourself laughing instead because it just hurts so bad? That is how I am right now, as strange as it may sound.
Black Jade [Feb 9 2009 at 10:33:57 AM]	I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles with friends. I admit that I have a little trouble when it comes to friendships, but nothing that could even compare your unfortunate situation so I won't bother with details. I think it is so easy to give up when something like that keeps happening over and over again. Whether you drift apart, the person is a hypocrite (trust me I've seen plenty), or they pass away quickly, or slowly and painfully, it is natural to shut yourself off from and not want to make new friends. I'm not saying you should throw yourself back into the world by any means, but I think you should have faith that one day you'll meet a friend who will stick by you no matter what. Maybe it takes time, even years, before that happens but one day it will. Friendships are frustrating and confusing and the best ones happen by accident or just being at the right place at the right time. I know when I met my current friends who are like sisters to me, I didn't even say hello when they greeted me!! (I was a very antisocial person and still am but I am trying very hard to improve) In my opinion it takes a strong person to stand up again after being left, abandoned, or knocked down for any reason. And after hearing some of the things you have gone through in life I have no doubt that you are one of the strongest people I have yet to meet. I can understand why you would feel that way and you have every right to after going through all of that, but I think in time you will be able to accept a new friend back into your life once again. I wish you all the strength in the world and more.
Princess Angel [Feb 8 2009 at 03:58:14 PM]	I see what you're getting at Sheol. I don't think you should give up on making friends though. It doesn't mean that this will keep going on, and its like the quote "Its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." At least if you make friends, you'll have, hopefully, made good memories. Even if something happens to them you'll always have their memories. ~Angel
Sheol [Feb 7 2009 at 04:11:08 PM]	Perhaps it's just because I am getting too old now, but everytime I find a friend it seems something happens to them. All my friends after high school moved out of state to go to college and we lost contact (despite my best efforts to keep in touch by email, they stopped writing). It seems the new ones I keep making after high school while in college keep dying or breaking off their friendship with me. Sarah killed herself, Lenio stopped being my friend cause I'm not Christian, Brian I cannot hang around cause he keeps trying to convert me (that ruined it, I mean, ever hear the expression 'live by example'... I don't need a lecture), Elizabeth died in a carwreck... and it just keeps going on. Now I only have one friend left, Beth, who I can hang out with, and she is dying now. Her body is riddled with blood clots and she is too weak for them to operate on. She has a massive blood clot the size of a palm in her lung that makes it hard for her to breathe, and another half that size in her other lung. The doctors said she'd be lucky to make it to the end of the year, and I think they were being generous about it. I know this is part of getting older, watching your friends die (but geesh, I'm only 24, is it necessary for all of them to die always? Couldn't I be left with one?)... at least Beth won't suffer anymore. She was in so much pain up until now, it's nice she will have her peace cause she has suffered in severe, constant pain for almost a year now. But I don't think I will start anymore friendships in person after this. I'm just sick of it. I'd rather never know the person than to have to watch another one suffer slowly and then die.
Princess Angel [Sep 19 2008 at 12:59:57 PM]	Yeah I know what you mean about the guy your sister is with Tsukiai girl. I let my friend have the guy we both like and she's like totally in love with him and really happy. So I'm glad I did what I did. Although its not the same really.... Maybe you should just tell your sister that you miss spending time with her, but you don't want her to be sad about it or anything. I get like that with some of my best friends (I'm an only child). As for the best friend you like, maybe it is best that he's only your best friend. Just start to look at other guys, and you never know what might happen. That's about all I can think of as to advice. ~Angel
Tsukiai girl [Sep 18 2008 at 05:28:05 PM]	Well, i've been having the same relationship probs lately too. My Twin sister has recently snaged herself a BF and has been spending all her time with him,and i have found that i have heaps of spare time on my hands without her to fill it. I have a crush at school, my best friend, but we've already gone through the fact that he will never consider me more than a best friend. Its complicated, and i've been feeling lonely every time i see my sis walk out the door arm in arm with her guy. Im jelous, i'll admitt, but i dont want to break up her happyness for mine... thats just just selfish. .... Plus im fridged. 0_o
Princess Angel [Sep 9 2008 at 02:10:54 PM]	My friend asked him out yesterday for me and got an answer today. He said no. I had expected him to, but I still wanted to know and it still hurt, but its okay now I guess. So what about everyone else??? ~Angel