JustExpressing.com : Express Yourself!

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Sheol [Apr 17 2009 at 01:56:03 PM]	No, you didn't come off preachy, and thank you. Perhaps when she completely changes her ways and then apologizes, then maybe you will be right and I can forgive her. I won't know until that time comes. We will never be able to have a good relationship again though. Sis has already been using meth for too long now. I don't know how much you know about meth, but when you use it heavily or over a long length of time, it permanently changes the person's personality. Even if she becomes clean, sis will never again act like the sis I once knew- She will never be my "sis" again. She will always be that ackward, twitchy, nervous, paranoid girl who cannot formulate a sentence properly. I've come to accept that truth, but I still feel robbed of my sister cause no matter which path she chooses, drugs or clean, I still will never fully have her back. I think my parents realize this too.
Black Jade [Apr 17 2009 at 01:13:52 PM]	Sorry Sheol, I hope I didn't come off as "preachy" to you. I really do mean you the best and hope things improve for you.
Black Jade [Apr 17 2009 at 01:11:56 PM]	Forgiving those who have hurt us or those closest to us is never easy. You know her best and if you sense that something is "wrong" about her apology then you are probably right...I don't mean to be depressing or anything but that's what I think. The God tells us to cover over all transgressions with love...but that DOESN'T mean its easy, it may even seem down right impossible at times. In Psalms it says that he remembers that we are all dust, meaning that he is fully aware of our shortcomings and willing to help us when we need it. The most we can do is try our hardest to forgive or to put the situation behind us and hope for a better future. I think that when your sister is TRULY repentant for her actions and you sense that about her then you may be able to find it in your heart to forgive her or at least not hate her as much. Now ignore this next part if you like but I just want to mention that God doesn't hate people, he hates what people DO. The Apostle Paul would stand by and approve of the murders of Christians before he realized and accepted that his way of serving God was not what the Creator wanted of him. King David committed adultery, had an innocent man killed, and then tried to hide the scandal, but when he was truly upset and asked forgiveness God forgave him. Until your sister is heartfeltly sorry and willing to leave her friends and former life behind, then I honestly can't blame you for being angry with her.
Sheol [Apr 16 2009 at 02:25:42 PM]	Well, my sis relapsed several times over the past months. I think she is FINALLY clean now... though I'm not sure, I really doubt she is though she is fronting a good facade. She still acts like a meth head that is why I say she is faking being clean again. Anyways, she came to me a few weeks ago apologizing for everything she put my husband and I through and for hurting us. I know I'm suppose to be forgiving, but I just cannot forgive her right now. All I could do was nod and say "I understand" while slightly tuning her out. It would be easier to forgive her if she had changed her ways already, but she is still a druggie and I just don't think she has any right to apologize when she has yet to realize- SHE IS STILL HURTING EVEYRONE!!! The apology seemed like a true effort, but did not taste genuine, like it was done out of ignorance. She is sorry yet she still runs around with her stoner friends. She is sorry yet she still holds grudges against her family for helping her, she still thinks she is right. I suppose I'm still spiteful to her for not showing on Christmas day. Everyone always gathers at my parents for Christmas, and on that day my sis' husband showed without her cause sis was too angry at mom and dad (for trying to help her) to show for Christmas. She saw it as them meddling in her business. My parents and brother-in-law cried all Christmas day for her not showing. The real sticker is I'm not even Christian and I showed up for Christmas! It's my parent's sacred family holiday... I don't think I can forgive my sis until she is sorry for hurting my parents and her husband. She can apologize for hurting me all she wants, but I can forgive someone for hurting me long before I can forgive them for hurting those close to me... and if she ever comes to apologize for it, then she better do it sober, that way she can see her current high level of church attendance doesn't bring her spirit closer to any heavenly knowledge. Her state of mind and heart does, which is intoxicated. This may be my only current grudge where I have not forgiven someone, and I know it isn't right, but my heart is hard to this. I feel bad for saying this but I hate her right now. Any feelings of love towards her are only due to the fact it would hurt mom, dad, and her husband to see her injured. I'm usually a very forgiving person, someone who is quick to forgive, but I cannot do it right now. She crossed the line by running the streets with her friends and not caring who she hurt. I know God will punish me for feeling that way but I simply do and that is the truth. On some level, I am sure it makes me a bad person. Sorry about all that, I had to vent somewheres and I didn't want to stir up business and upset my parents by venting to them. Thanks for listening.
Black Jade [Jan 27 2009 at 12:55:34 PM]	Glad to see you and your husband could come to a decision together and have your parents and relatives back you up. I hope things work out for you all!
Sheol [Jan 21 2009 at 05:11:03 PM]	Well, my husband and I both agreed that my sister wouldn't be allowed to come stay with us back in December. We both agreed that we would be enabling her addiction by giving her a way to avoid facing responsibility to her addiction and her husband. My parents and other relatives back us on this and wouldn't let her stay with them either. She's getting counseling now through a pastor with her husband and as far as I know she is on the road to recovery. :)
Sheol [Dec 8 2008 at 12:01:35 PM]	Thank you so much. My sister is thinking about coming out to stay at my house in the country for a while so she can get away from the city and all the stress/ pressure to do drugs from friends. I'm trying to convince her to not go hang around Sarah or any other friends that do drugs anymore... whether or not I can get through is the question. I guess addiction runs in my family, cause there are a ton of pill heads, crack heads, etc outside of my immediate family too. I guess the gene skipped me though. I kinda hope sis does come out here to stay with me. It would be good for her in the long run... I just hope her husband understands this decision should she choose it. I'm worried about sis rummaging through my medicine drawer if she stays here, cause I have a lot of pills (heart meds, pain pills, etc) from my chronic conditions like fibromyalgia, tachycardia, etc... and hell, if she takes my heart medicine thinking its a pain pill (I have a habit of throwing all my pills into one pill container)! And I can't afford something to lock the pills up in. I guess I gotta try to find a place to hide it, or carry them on me always when I leave.
Black Jade [Dec 8 2008 at 08:43:20 AM]	First off you have my deepest sympathies, I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have family members who are on drugs like that. I too have never felt even the slightest desire to get into drugs whether they are pills or illegal substances. I also agree with your point that you can't help a person unless they want to be helped and get off drugs and hopefully your sister will accept the support she has all around her. It only takes one time to get addicted to drugs and each persons body reacts differently. I know with smoking my dad quit right away but my Uncle has been smoking all of his life despite all of the heart trouble he has! Some people just aren't able to quit, whether it be for emotional or physiological reasons. I hope things improve for you Sheol.
Sheol [Dec 7 2008 at 08:24:28 PM]	I just found out tonight that my sister (age 27) is addicted to meth. I knew my sister was addicted to drugs for a while. I kept telling my husband something is wrong with her, that she is acting different and that I thought she had a drug problem... I just knew from the way she was acting and some of the things she was saying. But I thought she was addicted to pills. I had no idea she was hooked to something as hard as meth. My sister and brother in law (Jim) was hanging out at my house with my husband, Brian (my friend), and me when it got late and they decided to go home. My sister and Jim went outside to leave and Brian was walking next door (he's our neighbor) when all of a sudden I heard shouting outside. Jim was confronting my sis about her problem, and then we had an unplanned intervention in the front yard. I let my husband, Jim, and Brian do most of the intervening. I stayed inside and didn't say anything to my sis about it, cause my husband, Jim, and Brian are all ex drug addicts so there is nothing that I can say that would help NEAR as much as what they would have to say to her. The strange thing is, my sis got addicted cause she was trying to "save" a friend. She ran into her friend Sarah recently whom she went to high school with and found out Sarah was doing meth. Sis decided she could save Sarah despite us telling her to just stay away from the druggie, and sis ended up getting suckered into doing drugs by Sarah. You cannot save someone unless they want to quit, and my sis wants to quit, so I think she is going to be okay so long as we support her. I'm still really worried about her. Why is it now all of a sudden all my relatives are on drugs? First my parents get hooked to coccaine and now my sis on meth? What the hell!!! My parents claim they've quit but I won't believe it until I see some weight on them (my sis doesn't know about mom and dad)... but seriously, am I the only one clean in my family!!! Fricken hell! And I cannot help them. Cause I can't even relate. I've never had any desire to get high... I'm glad I have others in my life to help me help my sis and parents. Thank God for them.
Nancy [May 31 2008 at 06:50:52 PM]	I also agree with you guys that sometimes its the dullness of peoples lives that makes them get into drugs... but we also have to think about the reasons that get them there... sometimes is emotional problems... family issues..homelessness... etc... We should look at the root of the problem, rather than take a rehabilitating role we should take a preventative approach to helping people... I am currently studying to get my Bachelor's degree in criminal justice and thats something that i would like to do... help people with the root problem, not just trimming the branches, the "diseased branches" will grow back, but if you take care of the root, then you have better chances at helping people...