JustExpressing.com : Express Yourself!

AUTHOR	POST
Benny [Mar 10 2009 at 08:16:47 AM]	I think the stresses in society cause people to have anger management problems, because many people seem to have it. I do know it's also psychological, from when you are a child, I should look it up.
Black Jade [Dec 12 2008 at 07:45:46 AM]	Thanks for your comments Princess Angel and for all of that info Sheol. I think your right in thinking that Shaun had an anger problem, I know my uncle still has severe anger problems. Plus dealing with my older brother and his oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) AND his attention deficit disorder (ADD) was really hard at times. He's just now realizing, and apologizing for, what he put us through. Emotional and psychological problems are the hardest to deal with because there's such a wide spectrum of problems and behaviors, and a lot of times these problems can never really be "fixed" with medicine or therapy. I admire you for getting into psychology, it is a very interesting career. So remember everyone, a polite hello and a warm smile is all it takes to make someone feel better!
Sheol [Dec 12 2008 at 06:35:07 AM]	Oh, in case you guys were wondering about all that... I'm double majoring in psychology and nursing in college, so that's where that long post came from. I only say Shaun didn't have conduct disorder cause of this: I just don't want to sound like I'm diagnosing him when I've never even met him before! That would be too cruel. I don't know what was wrong with Shaun, for all I know he could have been acting out cause he was an abused child. I just know Black Jade made his life a bit nicer by being nice to him. :)
Sheol [Dec 12 2008 at 06:29:40 AM]	Children that are that violent at such a young age that they need to be institutionalized have what is referred to as conduct disorder or oppositional defiant disorder. Children who have these disorders usually grow up to have either one of these two personality disorders: antisocial personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. Conduct disorder is a behavior where children break the laws and violate the rights of others (vandalism, arson, beating up others, cruelty to animals, lying, stealing, etc.) and conduct disorder can be looked at as the children's form of antisocial personality disorder cause they have the exact same symptoms... It's just that psychologists don't like to diagnose kids with personality disorders cause they feel a kid's personality is still developing, so they just call it conduct disorder until they turn 18, at which point it becomes antisocial personality disorder. Conduct disorder is a real diagnosis (the only difference between conduct and oppositional is this: in opposition defiant disorder, the rights of others is not violated, as in they don't physically hurt others). People with conduct disorder display these tendencies from a VERY young age when they are small children, and parenting may play a role in this, but for the most part the kids are just born that way. Since it is impossible to change a person's personality, the kids with this need counseling to learn how to best deal with the most destructive aspects of this disorder (i.e. limit setting, coping with anger...). To make matters worse, there is no medication for these disorders cause these are disorders of the personality. A lot of these kids come from good homes with good parents, but their families just happen to have a history of mental illness. If the kids are lucky, their parents have a strong will and they will actively participate in the kids counseling by enforcing the limit setting and what not. If it is a case where it is truly conduct disorder and not just bad parenting (where the parent isn't stepping up to be a parent by disciplining the kid), then it isn't the parents fault. As for Shaun, I agree with what the other person said. He liked you cause you treated him like a human and didn't openly display fear. I don't think he had conduct disorder though, just an anger problem. But kids like that don't usually have friends so you probably made him feel less lonely.
Princess Angel [Dec 10 2008 at 12:38:59 PM]	I think that the reason he was so nice to you, from what you've said, is because you actually treated him like a human being. You said very few people actually treated him like a human being, and just that can change a person. That's only my opinion though. ~Angel
Black Jade [Dec 9 2008 at 07:15:59 PM]	When I was watching that show it reminded me of someone. Back when I was in Third grade there was one boy who was the biggest bully in school. Despite being only about 9 years old, however, I felt that something was just a little off about him. Even at that age I could totally see him as one of those kids I mentioned previously; he was that bad at times and slowly getting worse. "Shaun" was a new student who came a couple weeks into the school year and the first thing I noticed was how unusually tall he was for his age. He had been held back a year but that didn't help us feel any better. Anyway he was constantly being suspended for getting into fights. Seventy percent of the time we didn't even see him because he had gotten into a fight with a student or teacher. Everyone in my class and in the rest of the school were scared to death of Shaun because of his violent temper and the fact that he wouldn't hesitate to hit somebody if they irritated him enough. One time he got so angry I thought that the boy he was chasing would end up in the hospital if Shaun ever got a hold of him, I can still remember clearly how scared I was watching it happen before the teacher came in. The school was trying to help him but they weren't making much progress. He didn't have any friends and the one or two guys he did hang out with kept quiet because they were more scared of him then anything. I remember clearly that Shaun hated basically everyone and anyone that dared to approach or talk to him, whether they be a boy or girl, except for one person. There was only ONE person in the class and maybe the elementary school who he was friendly towards....me. To this day I STILL haven't the foggiest idea why, but for some strange reason Shaun liked me and only me. I mean I was half scared of the guy myself but, being the good girl I am, I made it a point to say hello and at least be polite to him. I never made a serious or formal effort to befriend him by any means, I may have been young but I still had common sense. I thought I was just being nice, and if he spoke to me or sat with me at the same lunch table on rare occasions I at least spoke to him didn't treat him like he had the plague the way everyone else did. To this day I am still amazed at how Shaun could be so ANGRY with everyone around him and yet so polite and friendly with me. It was like meeting a totally different person. Despite being the biggest bully around he actually defended my a few times when I was being teased and picked on. Needless to say nobody bothered me after that! ^_- We had different classes the next year but everytime I saw Shaun he was always nice to me...he still hated everyone else...but he was nice to me. Looking back now I think I was one of the few people who was actually polite to him and treated the boy like a human being. He even admitted that he thought of me as my friend. I'm still not sure whether that was a good or bad thing. He was expelled at one point for a fight and switched schools, but the next time I saw him he was as nice to me as ever. Despite us eventually being "friends" I still saw him clearly as being as one of those violent, troubled kids that end up institutionalized before their even in their teens. Remind you I was only about 9 years old when this all started. So what do you other girls think about this situation? Was he nice to me because I made a small effort to just be polite or was it something else? To this day I wonder what ever happened to him...
Princess Angel [Dec 9 2008 at 07:00:04 PM]	Wow.... It scares me sometimes when I hear stories like that. It makes me wonder what is happening to the younger ones now-a-days. And it makes me wonder what their parents have done if they've turned out this way (not saying that its completely the parents' fault).
Black Jade [Dec 9 2008 at 06:34:42 PM]	Okay I'm starting up a new conversation piece here. You know how on TV you see reports about those "out of control" kids? I'm talking about the one's that are extremely violent and have to be institutionalized when they're like 9 and 10 years old. Kids who are so dangerous at such a young age that they have to have the police called on them. I was watching a Dr. Phil episode about kids like that and one family was scared to death of their 7 year old son. The mother kept her youngest daughter with her at all times because she was afraid her son would seriously hurt his little sister; he had already done so once before. The city police were just waiting until he was the right age so they could take him away to a specialized institution. I've seen some bratty kids who need a good dose of discipline but those children were in a WHOLE other league. These were NOT kids who just had careless parents, these were children with serious emotional and maybe even mental problems.
Black Jade [Nov 28 2008 at 09:39:37 AM]	Hey there! I'm glad I could help you Sheol! As a Jehovah's Witness I have known people who have been all but excommunicated from their families for choosing this religion. It's sad but it does happen. You situation hopefully that bad from the sound of it. Many all over the world claim to obey the Bible but you can tell by their actions whether they are really doing it or not. Just because a person claims to be Christian that does not mean they are really following the Bible. If you ever talk to a Jehovah's Witness then they will, or should, always reference the Bible instead of giving you their own opinion. Jehovah's Witnesses belive that the entire Bible is God's word and that He should be obeyed before anyone else. My religion is not just what I belive but it is a way of life that I have chosen and it affects my thinking, actions, and especially how I treat others. My dad used to be Catholic, I know a man who used to be a Jew and is now a Jehovah's Witness, and another lady tried just about every religion there was before listening to what a Witness had to say. A good family friend was bound and determined to prove that Jehovah's Witness were wrong about the Bible but after 7 years he was convinced otherwise and now he has been of this religion for decades. So if I have helped one person understand our beliefs just a little better then that's good enough for me! So if a Jehovah's Witness ever comes to your door or tried to talk to you then even if your not interested then at least be polite to them would you? I've heard one to many stories involving my friends who have had guns pulled on them for my taste. I'm still learning and no expert by any means but if you ever have a question or just something you'd like to ask me about Sheol then feel free to ask. I promise I won't bite! ^_^
Sheol [Nov 25 2008 at 01:10:10 PM]	Hmm... Thanks for the explanation. I always wondered how Christians interpreted Job, but I was always too put off to ask. My inlaws (whom I live on the same property with) are all Christians, but I cannot ask them such questions without them attempting to convert me. They won't just discuss the Bible with me. My interpretation of Job is one I stumbled across when researching the historical context of it. At the time Job was written, Jews believed at that point in time that both good and evil came from the hand of God (and as I said before, Jews still do not believe in Satan in the way Christians do). Job reflects that belief when he says, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" Those beliefs made perfect sense to me, for Satan to be just another tool of God, so I accepted them as my own. I knew those beliefs would never match up with Christianity though, so it always left me wondering how Christians incorporated that particular book into their belief system, since I couldn't think of any other way to interpret it. I suppose my curiosity is finally satisfied. lol. I might have been raised Christian by my family, but anything I know about the religion is because I went out and discovered it for myself... the same goes with the Bible and God. My dad is baptist and my mother is catholic. That really shouldn't matter since their both Christians, but I remember as a little girl anytime they would take me to church, they would spend the entire car ride home arguing about the sermon, so when I was about eight, they stopped bringing me to church and the bible was rarely discussed cause it would cause an arguement between them. I am one of those people who will seek knowledge solely for knowledge's sake, and when I became a teen I researched the Bible as often as I could just so I would know it (afterall... with how passionately my parents argued it with each other, I never knew who was right). My beliefs about God and the Bible became vastly different from my family's. Still, after not raising me in a catholic church, my mother expected me to go through with catechism when I was a teen (my older sister did, so it was expected), and told me I shamed my family when I refused to. That is why my family (except for my inlaws) will die thinking I am a Christian. If mother reacted like that to me no longer being catholic, she'd disown me for not being a Christian. My inlaws talk down to me cause I believe in God but not Jesus. They speak as though I do not know the Bible simply cause I am not "saved" and yet what they tell me of the Bible is so far from the truth. Their beliefs are feel good beliefs, there is no meat to it. And I know they do not understand their own religion, because they treat me as a heathen instead of a human,- and I've read their portion of the Bible. I know that is not how Jesus treated people. And their actions do their religion no favors, cause it screams far louder than their words. Anyways, aside from my rant, I what I really wanted to say is thank you. I appreciate being spoken to with respect for once, more than you may ever know.